Life with CQS

Today readers, I’m going to tell you about my experiences with what I call Chronic Quitter Syndrome, or CQS for short. Hopefully it will help (at least in part) to explain my absence these past few months.

For the bulk of my life, I’ve struggled with anxiety and a general tendency to avoid my problems, rather than confront them. Thus, when a thing has become difficult, or seems like it might lead to an uncomfortable situation/confrontation, I stop going, stop talking to a particular individual, stop blogging, etc. And I stress about it for weeks, sometimes months on end. This neglected blog has seriously been hanging over my head, haunting me for a solid two months. I’ve  had some great post ideas that I’ve allowed to fall by the wayside out of some weird, unfounded anxiety that no one cares what I have to say.

I suppose the thing that I ought to reconcile is my knowledge that it’s true, few people read my blog, with my fear that no one will. People aren’t not reading my blog because of the content, they’re not reading it because they don’t know it exists. And the only way to make people more aware of its existence is by publishing content. And I can do that. I have a support network of friends who keep encouraging me and pushing me to do this. And I often have a burning desire to make my opinion known, even if “the multitudes” are really only about a dozen people.

And I do have so very many exciting things to report on since last we met. In no particular order:

• I tried out for a roller derby team and made it past the first round of cuts. I have five more weeks to prep for my next round. It’s so exciting and I just love it already. I’ve seriously felt my confidence increase by at least 30% in the past month, not to mention my fitness level.
• I am, with the assistance of a few other lovely ladies, in the process of founding a San Antonio chapter of Geek Girl Brunch. We’ve been texting, messaging, and meeting to get things sorted out and ready for our first brunch. It’s going to be awesome. Hopefully. Nah, it’ll be great. Maybe. (See what I mean about anxiety and self doubt?)
• ABC picked up Agent Carter for a second season!!! Wooooo!!! I may still blog about this, even if it is old news already.
• I celebrated my first wedding anniversary. It was wonderful and relaxing and great. Being married is still cool for now. Check back next year.
• I saw the second Avengers movie, and have some pretty strong feelings, some good, some bad. Since this is currently more relevant, I’m more likely to write a post about it.
• For fans of Wolf Hall, I’m nearly finished with the first novel, and can’t wait to read the second and watch the miniseries. I’ve heard it’s brilliant.

Okay. I think that’s enough bullet points for now. I also feel like some of the topics mentioned in these bullets explain the other part of my absence, aside from the anxiety and CQS. Welp, it’s getting late, so I ought to let y’all go to bed. Thanks for sticking around, dear readers. Catch you later.